There’s a good tired and there’s a bad tired, a good (discontent) and a bad discontent, and yeah, I believe there’s a good depression and a bad depression. Every Christian seeking to live in mission has got to discern between these two paths regularly.
A “good tired” results from one exerting oneself out of one’s passion ordered into the work God has given him/her. It is the result of offering up one’s body to the work of the Lord. It is the result of seeing whatever tasks God has given me for the day – whether it be work, parenting, prayer, ministry, housecleaning – as work done unto His glory for His purposes. Out of a posture of dependence upon God the Holy Spirit, the opening of our hands to the Holy Spirit’s indwelling power, we work with joy and then get tired. We end the day tired but deeply satisfied. I love days lived like this.
But there is a bad tired which is debilitating. It comes from being overwhelmed by all that lies ahead. It comes from seeing I have too many things to accomplish and it’s all on me to get it done. I am trying to do all this in my own energy. I am sighing. I am sighing.
I must learn how to order these tasks and then most importantly I must learn how to walk daily in dependence, hands open, to the infilling of the Spirit. It is not my work. It is participating with God in His work for the day, whatever that work might be.
There is also, I believe, a good discontent and a bad discontent. The good discontent is a holy discontent born out of a desire to see God’s Kingdom come. When one sees people around him/her blocked by fears and obsessions that hinder the coming of God’s reign, there is a discontent. This discontent can be carried with grace. We, in Christ, can speak truth gracefully and leave space for God to work. The bad discontent however is a rut of always finding things not up to one’s own standards of perfection. The resulting disgruntled state is impervious to grace. It is always unhappy. This state of mind kills life if not nipped in the bud.
Lastly, I believe there is a good depression that all pastors/ministers have to go through to be used by God. This is the deep sadness that one must go through which enables each one of us to give up things we somehow became attached to as central to our own identity, but really these things are not essential to God’s Mission. In ministry, there are things like “I’m a great preacher” or “I will lead a certain kind of change in this neighborhood for Jesus” or “I will show my worth by being a mega church pastor executive” that somehow have been allowed to become pat of my identity. I hold onto to these things. Being freed from these identity markers will allow us to become the instruments anew of what God is doing in Mission. I fear, most pastors never allow themselves to die to their ministry ego markers (whatever they might be) because this requires a good period of depression. As a result, ministries shrivel and churches die.
Bad depression is when we lose purpose in life and allow ourselves to go into complete despair and disavowal of all belief. We lose connection to the reality that God has called us into His life and His Mission. This is when depression is bad and should not be nurtured. If we end up here, I believe we must go to the place where we can open ourselves anew to the mysteries of God (a spiritual director might be good here too) and see the deep mysterious purposes of God at work in the world in His Mission for the world. Somehow, we must see again our place within God’s extraordinary Mission. I believe this kind of renewal happens to people all the time. Many however never have the wherewithal (the spiritual direction) to resist it by the Spirit so as to get to the place of receptivity.
There’s a good tired and there’s a bad tired, a good (discontent) and a bad discontent, and yeah, I believe there’s a good depression and a bad depression. Every Christian seeking to live in mission has got to discern between these two paths regularly.
The words of Jesus from The Message Matt 11:28-30
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
Blessings on the journey. DF
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A good post Dave and one that really hits me where I live.
I’ve spent a lot of time during the past year experiencing huge amounts of tiredness, discontent, and depression. I have really struggled during that time to discern whether or not those things were signs that God was calling me to move forward or just the result of my own selfish desire to have life be what I wanted it to be. Some days I still am not sure.
One thing that has been absolutely crucial, though, in my discerning the difference has been the input of other people who could look at my circumstances with a bit more objectivity than I could. Without their guidance and wisdom, I don’t know that I could have navigated my way through it all.
Amen. I live in the confusion that is the space between all of these things. I’m increasingly aware of the fact that disciplines of rest and mindfulness are essential to discerning the difference between these binaries amidst the chaos of life.
Amen. God seems to do so much work on my heart through the work of equipping ministry that I sometimes think he tricked me into his remedial spiritual development program by calling it “leadership.”
I really love these more pastoral posts, Dave. Thank you.
Great post. A small tweak: I’d drop the phrase “out of one’s passion” from the “good tired” section.
You sort of do that in the third sentence when you say that when we throw ourselves into whatever the day holds that we tire in a “good” way. It’s interesting that your description of “bad tired” comes from doing exactly the opposite of this–instead of accepting what the day holds, we expend our energy worrying about it or wishing we could do something else.
But what the day holds doesn’t necessarily mean it feeds into “our passion”–whatever that is. In fact, I’d say that being overly conscious of what we consider our passion is the #1 reason we become “bad tired”.
Bob, couldn’t agree more!!! In fact I thoroughly disagree with the idea of somehow finding “your passion.” Passion is that which is shaped through submission to thhe work into His glory. It is what is generated out of suffering -meaing devoted to a task God has given. Passion, as in “the passion” of Christ, his suffering is the true passion. I tried to give a nod in this direction by saying “out of one’s passion as ordered into the work God has given him/her” …
Blessings ..DF
reminds me of worldly sorrow leading to death vs. godly sorrow leading to repentance
David that awesome passage from Matt 11:28-30 that you selected fits in so wonderfully with good and bad tired, good and bad discontentment, and good and bad depression. Thank you for sharing this because you have lifted a burden that I have been experiencing for quite some time in my Chicago, Lawndale neighborhood. Presently in my urban neighborhood, and in the past, there has been sprays of violence, drug wars, garbage thown in the street and side walk, registered sexual predators living in the area, and noise, noise and mroe noise. I have been depressed, discontent and tired both good and bad. It seemed that God was not answering my prayers to reach my neighbors to keep the neighborhood clean, quiet, safe and drug free.
It seemed the more I prayed, witnessed about the Lords grace and mercy, and picked up garbage, the worse the block and overall neighborhood got as well as the violence. But brother Dave, I will think of Matt 11:28-30, keep praying, keep picking up the garbage and telling people in my neighborhood about the goodness of the Lord so for good tiredness, good discontentment and good depression.
God Bless You and Peace.
John
I am experiencing some discontent myself, but i know i m not alone out there.
You have cued me back into some reflection that started two weeks back while listening to Bruce Cockburn. Yes – I feel a blog post coming on… But in short, it was a song off a 15 or 20 year old album called “”You’ve Never Seen Everything.” The cut is the second on the album and starts out like this,
I never live with balance
I always wake up nervous
Light comes at me sideways
I hold my breath forever
I never live with balance
Though I’ve always liked the notion
I feel that endless hunger
For energy and motion …
And I think .. yeah, balance is a greek ideal. Why do we think balance is the great virtue? Jesus does not strike me as a balanced individual. He was sold out – had a single passion – a life dangerously off balance.
But the song continues, and the next time the light comes at him sideways..
The street is filled with noises
Life going up and down
Light comes at you sideways
Enfolds you like a gown ..
Btw, I have always loved Peterson’s translation of this text.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Dude I quoted that passage from The Message in the post … so I have now learned that a.) you didn’t read the entire post (totally cool with that) and b.) we’re channeling Peterson together at the same time on a blog post and didn’t even know it … Cool
DF
“Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”
Wow! Thanks for this. You blog post is fantastic, but this just hit me in my heart. I can live without grace very easily. This is a great vision of what I can learn to live with. I get tired at being angry at all the things I don’t need to be angry about…traffic, summer heat, relationships. Thanks again for the post!
Thanks for sharing this Steve. I also get tired of being angry about the exact same things you mention here. Glad to know I’m not alone in that.
Great post Dude!
Sounds like another book in the making, this is a common problem with pastors, evangelists, and community workers today (not knowing when to pause, rest, or meditate).
[...] Read the rest of David Fitch's article here on his blog. [...]
Thanks for this post. I like how you identified the mindset/spirit we are in as so critical to how we fall into these categories. I find it so easy to focus on what I need to do, rather than seeing everything as done for the glory of God. Thanks for a great reminder.
Thanks for your thoughts. I needed them tonight.