I know this is little late, but for me, nothing illustrates better the current state of the church’s witness in regard to sexual issues in America, than the Ms. California/USA pageant episode a couple months ago. It was an embarrassing irruption of the Real that any follower of Christ has got to wince at and just turn away (it’s so embarrassing). Here a woman prances before the media in a miniscule bikini (ironically designed by another ex-evangelical Jessica Simpson), she was a woman who had (‘sexually-enhancing’) cosmetic surgery (we found out), who had been in revealing photoshoot of some sort, and she is asked about her position on same sex unions. She responds by saying the words “…I think in my country, in my family, that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.” The next day on the Today show she said “I don’t take back what I said.” She added that she “had spoken from my heart, from my beliefs and for my God.” “It’s not about being politically correct,” she said. “For me, it’s about being biblically correct.” Regardless of her own church allegiances, she says the “B” word in front of the cameras, “biblical,” labeling her an evangelical sterotype. In the process she becomes a symbol of the problem of political (communal) credibility evangelicals lack to be able to witness at all to the gay/lesbian populations.
To me this Ms California episode is an irruption of the Real (in a Zizekian sense) for us evangelicals. It reveals the horror of who we are in the eyes of the gay/lesbian peoples. For she is a symbol for how we project onto gays/lesbians our (evangelicalism’s) own sexual sin thereby making ourselves feel better. By saying what she said about gay unions, moments after the swimsuit competition, she was basically telling the world “we do the same things, but for gay people it’s sin.” We have duplicity personified as Miss California says “lust is good, objectifying my body is normal, the fulfillment of all desire is good” on the one hand, and then with the other says to the gay and lesbian world, “but you can’t do any of this – because you’re different you are not allowed.” In the process she becomes a glaring symbol of how by pointing out someone else’s sin, we can ignore the empty cheap frivolity of our own sexual lives and still feel better about ourselves. We do not need to fess up that our own sexual habits are so badly skewed, our desires so poorly oriented. We can keep on ignoring the emptiness of our own sexual sanctification by displacing our lack of “enjoyment” onto “the others,” the gay and lesbian people. This too often has become the nature of our witess in society. As such, I believe such an episode reveals the inner contradiction of our own sexual life and politics as evangelicals. And the gay world just looks on with a snicker.
I believe the gay, lesbian, bi and transsexual groups pose the defining test case of the decade for the witness of the church in the new post Christendom contexts of N America. And we (I am speaking about us evangelicals here) are failing miserably. Each time another senator who supports Focus of the Family or Promisekeepers, or another fallen pastor goes on Larry King revealing the emptiness of our sexual formation, it only gets worse. As I said way back here, , the broader evangelical church of my heritage has, generally speaking, not been the kind of people capable of speaking (any kind of) truth into the sexual lives of anyone – nevermind the gay/lesbian community. We have been a community of disordered sexuality. We have been hitherto incapable (theologically) of embodying the sexual redemption made possible in the resurrection through Jesus Christ. We have no space to speak on these issues to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual communities. And until we get our own communities to line up with the sexual redemption in Christ, to the gay community we look like empty judgmental duplicitous fools who see everyone else as thieves stealing away our enjoyment.
We need to ask “what kind of people should we be in order to welcome gay and lesbian people into the redemptive and healing salvation of God in Christ for sexuality?” In my opinion, in the average evangelical church, we date and marry much like the rest of society where an unexamined sexualized attraction is a guiding factor. We teach that lust before marriage is bad, yet lust after marriage is good (implicitly). In our practice of salvation, there is no formation of desire to be integrated and developed into a narrative of self-giving love and commitment to mutuality, self giving and procreation over time in marriage. All of this leaves us asking gay and lesbian people to not do something (consummate all desire as created and good) that we are encouraging heterosexuals to do for the exact same reasons. Without a communal witness of love and redemptive sexual healing, our words are empty. And so the typical evangelical church, when they meet gay communities in their midst, engage in protest of same sex marriage, or institute some kind of legsilative action. In so doing we reveal our fear for our children and our insecurity in our own sexual formation practices within our church communities. It leaves us impotent as a missional witness for the gospel in the gay and lesbian communities.
As a start, I believe we need to become the kind of community that
a.) does not indulge hyper romanticist notions of sexuality that objectifies sexual attraction as the basis of heterosexual marriage,
b.) quits disembodying sexuality in the way we do whenever we make the Bible into moral propositions that should be enforced instead of a narrative world to be shaped and directed towards so as to live into.
c.) worships in a way that would order desires towards God away from narcissism (instead of feel-good pep-rallies), for any other kind of worship cannot hope to train us out of our narcissistic obsessions with sex.
d.) stops acting like heterosexual marriage and sex itself is absolutely essential for a fulfilling Christian life. Indeed we should elevate celibacy/singleness as a vocation in the process testifying that sexual drive, as well as all desire needs to be sub-ordered to God’s purpose and Mission for anything remotely fulfilling to take place in our lives.
e.) loves and nurtures the hurting souls and the bruised lost ones who seriously desire to be shown another way but are too consumed at this moment to see anything else.
Life on the Vine makes marriage a process of spiritual (and desire) formation. It is in submission to the community and calls each marriage into submission to Christ’s mission. We have just begun some good discussion groups about the various issues revolving around sex, gender and singledom. I think if we just start talking about our sexual formation, a major hurdle will be passed.
As I said above, the gay, lesbian, bi and transsexual groups pose the defining test case of the decade for the witness of the church in the new post Christendom contexts of N America. Missional thinkers practicioners must engage and lead on this issue. There are no more hurting people groups in N. America which at the same time remain (or have the perception that they are) ostracized from the church. (The homeless for instance may be hurting but are not as ostracized from the church). Speaking to the gay issue in the church takes courage – the easiest thing to do is to avoid speaking about it publicly. This is because, if you speak, you end up being pegged as either “judgmental” or “compassionate.” Since no one wants to land on the “judgmental” side, the overwhelming temptation is to err on the compassionate side. Yet, the church needs both. The defining character of the church as it works out its moral discernments is “speaking truth in love.” This is how we grow according to Eph 4. This is how we inhabit the truth over time. Unfortunately this kind of speech is regularly missing in the churches. It’s either one or the other.
This is why the Bridging the Gap Synchroblog begun by Wendy Ritter several weeks ago was such a pleasant surprise. I read many of the entries. I urge others to do so. I found the conversation excellent. I really felt it went beyond the judgment-versus compassion deadlock. There were several posts I could not agree with. But I gained a new sense of what is happening in this discussion, a starting point of love and compassion from all sides that is rare but so necessary if we the church shall be witnesses in these communities. I wish I would have gotten in on it but the above represents where I would start.
I’ve assumed alot of things in this rant, including stuff in moral theology (hoping it was just intuitive). Sorry! For those who need to know, I do not affirm gay/lesbian sexual practice as normative for the Christian church. This makes communal embodied incarnational witness to our gay neighbors all the more indispensible. There’s no way I could clarify all my positions concerning gay, lesbian sexuality etc.. So I welcome questions and discussion. (Although I’m heading off to vacation Thursday).
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For those of us less educated in the terminology, can you explain what you mean by an “irruption of the REAL?”
In simplest of terms, an episode where there’s a excessive clash of contradictions that reveals the real drives behind what we say, or that reveals the emptiness behind what we say. Thanks for the question, I hope that helps!!
Dave,
Thank you for your post! As I think more on your words, I’m reminded of two Authors who seem to embody the different approaches you discussed. John Piper’s Christian Hedonism seems confusing in a social, narrative theology. Yet, David Matzko McCarthy’s work on sexuality and marriage seems to fit with your call to developing the sexual growth of the Christian.
Have a great vacation!
David, great post.. it really is heart breaking, but it points up the need for authentic communities that really are “communities of virtue” witnessing to an alternate kingdom.
btw, would love to read a reflection some time on the “wild at heart” and “promise keepers” crowd relative to our therapeutic culture and wider issues around gender and gender roles.
Dustin,
I think Matzko McCarthy’s book is key and I use it in my Sexual Ethic seminar at Northern. And Piper’s unique perspective here, is of value.
Len, As for our therapeutic culture and especially “wild at heart” stuff, well that’s a can of worms I’d like to have a general discussion about. It’s important and directly related to this issue. And I like the phrase
“communities of virture as a good way to put things.
In the last three years, I have been in conversations with pastors amidst gay populations in the city. Their churches have been ostracised from their neighborhoods because all they could do is “protest” evangelism, proclaim what they are against. etc. etc… I suggested to them, in the midst of this quandary, to not attempt to reach out, but instead focus on becoming a sexually healing and whole place for the heterosexuals in the community, married and/or single. Then after five years, seek out a person of peace in the gay community to minister the gospel to.
the community, in this sense, must incarnate the salvation we have, for it at all to be real, appealing and even compelling …
DF
[...] California USA and Sexual Politics My friend David Fitch has a must read article on how the whole Miss California has personified the duplicity in many people’s approach to [...]
As a Transitioned woman having been harassed and rejected for years by the church for having become a woman, I find this a very refreshing message. Well written!
Believe it, or not, I have just attended a luncheon for new members in a southern, conservative, Pentecostal and most evangelical church. I had decided to walk in and tell them exactly what I was, and that they could decide to love me as Christ calls them to do, or slam the door shut like all of the other churches I have been tossed out of. To my surprise I have been loved and the pastor and his wife stood up in front of everyone and said that the doors are wide open for all to come in and receive Christ’s love. He even used words like “homosexual” and a host of other labels that are so commonly used in a derogatory fashion by the church. Yet, they were warm and inclusive in his sermon, stating that “all” of us are lacking before God and needing His guidance. Everyone not only stood up and cheered, but actually fell into a long session of heavenly praise and heart felt gladness over the new light that that church had just discovered. Since then I have realized that there were those attending, Transgender children, gay spouses, and many who are struggling with the many issues that some so blatantly cover over in their self righteous banter. I am a Transsexual who is loved in a church who “gets it”, and that perhaps the lady from California would do well to attend.
This is a timely post for me, so thank you. I am currently facing a situation where there is a great deal of pressure for me to be involved in a wedding of a couple who have treated the sex and marriage with utter disdain. There is SO much pressure to “just do it” because “they are going to do it anyway, so why not support them?”. Too many of us evangelicals sing a different tune on these issues when it strikes closer to home.
Peace,
Jamie
Jamie,
i think the marriage, the preparation for marriage in community, the ceremony, the commitments, and the ongoing living in marriage, are all spiritual formation – sanctification. This whole process is a witness to the Christian subordination of desire to Hs purposes beyond ourselves, His Mission, the redemption of all creation. We have a process we have been doing for a long while. it is one piece in fostering a sexually redemptive culture …
i think those who do “evangelistic” marriages make a significant error … setting up those marriages for failure, as well as setting the table for a sexually non- redeeming culture in the church community.
This is why i am for “civil unions” …and not just for same sex unions outside the church, i think we must distinguish between Christian marriage and civil unions inside the church and make a legitimate distinction to choose one over the other.
Thanks for the words …
erleclaire … good to hear from you … i hope you find much healing and redemption in your church home
Thanks David. I am reading this moments before going into a meeting with the couple and one of their parents. This is precisely what I have said to them. I don’t think they will listen, but I think it is important that our community stand firm on this. Your prayers are welcome.
I also agree with you about “civil unions”. We are paying a high price for letting the government get into the marriage business (and like yourself, I am not simply referring to same sex unions). We sold our birthright for a bowl of pottage.
Peace,
Jamie
I really appreciate this blog post as it take this issue so much deeper than most are willing to go — admitting that WE (evangelicals) have a problem with the whole way we have been approaching sex and everything related to it. I have so many thoughts on this issue but no time to formulate them within this comment so I just leave it at a “thanks!”.
David, I am a pastor of a church within the pentecostal ranks. I am dealing with this very issue of accepting those within the gay community into the local church. Most of the congregation could not receive my heart on the matter if I “came out” on how i really feel. I have shared from the pulpit and privately to some degree on the subject to my constituents but I am not openly declaring it from the “roof tops”, so to speak.
I also realize that the church has been influenced through decades and even centuries of certain dogma and thus creates a sort of “victimization of the church” due to that dogma. There is no excuse for not loving people as they are, but this might be an approach some might consider when contimplating getting into the subject within their faith communities.
I’m still struggling with the issue and just how strongly I can “preach” my heart on the issue as a whole. The church is full of broken people, to push to strongly in one direction, iether way, could, in some ways, do a disservice to both.
Compassion and wisdom are the order of the day!
I’m all for discussing things as a whole and issues and problems, but where is the compassion for this girl?
What did you say and do when you were her age without the education and understanding you now have?
Do you think lashing out at a young woman like this for her view is going to sway others to your view point who are not already there?
What would you do if simply for sharing what you were taught were turned into a young woman used as a pawn for a culture war overnight?
You have many great points and things to consider, but how are we as believers any different than anyone else if we show no compassion?
I know too many people hurt by believers who have attacked other believers and judged them and this hits a raw spot.
Yes, liberals and alternative life style people have been the victim of attacks by believers for too long.
Yet, God help us if we start turning on young women in the church who have learned what we and the culture around us have taught them next.
Sad Believer, ‘
yeah, ok, I think you have a point. What I should have made more clear, and believe me I truly do approach my analysis this way, is that Ms California is more an example/ a symbol of who we have become as evangelicals. She is a product of evangelicalism, even though I don’t know the details of her upbrining. Her language gives her away as to her formation. So I should have made more explicit, that this is not so much a critique of her personally, it is a critique of the formation she is a product of. I think it’s an important distinction that I should have made a bigger deal of. Thanks for the corrective criticism. I needed it…
[...] is another needed post to this conversation. This one is by David Fitch and nails it. Thanks for writing this David. He [...]
[...] 8.) Miss California’s Guffaw About Gays and Lesbians and What We can Learn about Our Missional W…: This post obviously got alot of attention – and it’s a little snippet of my book project coming out next year The End of Evangelicalism? Discerning a New Faithfulness for Mission. I think this episode reveals much about the lack of an embodied witness to sexual redmeption in evangelicalism and what that does to the way we relate to gays and lesbians. [...]
I thought that ‘sad believer’ has hit a real insight into the new evangelical self-critique. I don’t think we mean it this way, but we usually express greater patience and sympathy for the GLBT community and its proponents than for someone who is a “Promise Keeper” or “wild-at-hearter.” I understand and even applaud the honest and justifiable criticism of the church. I think that we have the responsibility of integrity with our message and lifestyle. When we need to hear the truth about ourselves… hold nothing back.
Now, I would like to hear your critique of the GLBT movement. What do they need to hear? Tell the truth about what you believe. With integrity, hold nothing back.
I also thought Fitch did a great job of explaining how he was using her as an example. I agree with him.
Here is what I still wrestle over… I have a hard time believing that a 20 something year-old beauty pageant contestant with fake boobs, is the picture of what is wrong with evangelicals. She was asked a question about what she thought about gay marriage (great set-up) and then attacked for having a position that differs from the status quo. What should she have said? Can she not disagree with popular opinion because she has struggled sexually? Are we really reduced to this kind of logic to “fix” evangelical inconsistencies? If someone labeled the GLBT community in a similar fashion they would be considered a bigot. Where is the consistency (I am talking about in our own evangelical house).
There is far too much wrong with us. Too much that rally matters. It is far too hip to throw stones today, as long as you throw them at your own house. I agree Jesus took some serious shots at the Pharisees. I see fewer shots at his own disciples. Honest truth – yes.
Speaking about compassion… How compassionate would Jesus be to a sexually confused and insecure woman being laughed at and mocked for saying what she believes about gay marriage? I doubt if he would expose and exploit her on his blog.
[...] I have been unhappy with the evangelical proto-type response to the gay/lesbian communities in United States. There has been a “sick enjoyment” present in pointing to the sin of GLBT sexual relations on behalf of evangelicals. It’s a defensive and protective reaction. Many times, subtly, the gay/lesbian is used as an object to justify our sense of moral status which so often proves duplicitous. It is like pointing to the sin of the gay/lesbian sexualities enables us to cover up our own deep complicity with the same sexual malformation in ourselves. I tried to say all of this here in this post over here. [...]
[...] Hmmmm, read this post here. Read my lengthy descriptions throughouit these posts describing how LGBTQ must be put into the [...]